This is the first installment of a 3-part blog series I have coming your way!
IF BODY POSITIVITY FEELS IMPOSSIBLE, TRY THIS
It took you a long time but you’re so over it-
- Over the endless failed diets and not feeling good enough
- Over the weight and body shame
- Over putting your life on hold
The shame spirals aren’t working and you’re ready to exit the diet rollercoaster. But just as you’re venturing into new territory, you hit an unexpected roadblock: Body Positivity. WAIT- WHAT?!
It’s normal when you’re getting off the rollercoaster to feel a little lost. While you’re ready to stop hating your body, you may not always identify as feeling love or positivity towards it either.
Many of the women I work with express the same concern:
· “I don’t want to hate my body anymore, but loving it? I don’t know about that either. Now what?"
· “I believe in body positivity for other people, but not for me! At least not yet!”
· “So if I’m not 100% positive about my body all the time- am I doing it wrong?”
Hopping straight from body shame to body love may feel like too big a leap after years on the body battlefield. And if that’s your measuring stick, it’s easy to assume you’re doing something wrong or that body positivity isn’t in the cards for you.
Let me start by taking that boulder off of you:
It’s ok if body positivity isn’t where you’re at
You’re allowed to be wherever you are in your journey
It’s not all-or-nothing. At the beginning of my journey, I had such a specific idea of what leaving diets behind would look like. After two decades, I was suddenly going to be that gal oozing body love, totally cool with mirrors, shorts and being the first to jump into pictures! It stung when that didn't come easy at first. I found peace in the middle.
Healing your relationship to your body is a process that takes time.
Approaching it like a diet won’t work.
It’s not linear and there is no exact formula.
It’s not about doing it right or wrong.
Body shame or body positivity- those are not your only options. Untangling yourself from our diet-obsessed culture includes making space for multiple truths to exist.
There are going to be days when you feel like hot shit and others where you feel like a hot mess! Sometimes they happen in the same day. Heck- at the same time!
And there may be times when body positivity feels natural and easy. But just like anything else, it’s unrealistic to think you’re going to feel it every second of everyday.
Healing is a spectrum. Unlike diets- quick mastery and swift results is not the point. Reclaiming your life and sanity is.
So where to start?
Before you can love something, you have to acknowledge that it exists. Acceptance makes space for what is without judgment.
“This is NOT my body.”
How many times have you said or thought this to yourself? Think of the immense time and effort you have invested keeping this mindset alive. Imagine having that energy back.
What if the first step was to relax that stronghold and make space for the idea of,
“This is my body in this moment.”
Which phrase creates more ease for you?
Stay tuned! In the next post in my 3-part Body Acceptance Series, I will go further into the many questions and misconceptions around the idea of body acceptance, such as the ever popular,
“But if I accept myself, isn’t that just letting myself go?”